Broken hearted

Thought sparks from many different occasions. While reading another blog's comment section there was the notation - blog torture, it should be a crime along with talk about a corn harvest reminded me of corn feeding the world.

It also made me think of broken hearted. Odd that two such seemingly random thoughts should come from the same root. This post will not seek to tie those two thoughts together for other than coming out of my head, with its own random thoughts, I see no connection at this point.

As to broken hearted it is often hard to put a handle on such unless one has some specific event or cause to tie it too and even then it may be hard to describe just how such affects us. This will be an attempt to do so for one specific situation.

At the moment I am broken hearted for some I love and care deeply for but am unsure how to reach out to with that love and deep care without pushing them away. I feel so inadequate on so many fronts, in this relationship, as I wander through this minefield of thought, speech and actions.

Prayer has helped in some respects as I seek wisdom, ask for guidance that I will act, do, say only those things that are not hurtful, are helpful, that explain what I believe without denigrating their beliefs, loving them, coming along side them, being there for them in whatever life throws their way, letting them know that they are family even if they are not biological or in any way legal in family.

We adopt those who we feel kinship with just as we too are adopted by others to include in circles of love and admiration and make them family. Most people don't realize this but I believe such to be fact if one cared to analyze this for what it truly is.

Why am I broken hearted? I am broken hearted because I know how inadequate I am in this respect. I feel that I've missed the mark, that while I had hoped for one thing, that hope is diminished. I do trust that perhaps progress that I cannot see, is there, that in some small way, my inadequate and bumbling actions, will not negatively effect this relationship or any other relationship.

Some of this comes from our modern world where we seek instant gratification, everything tied up in a neat little package like a TV show resolving everything in a short time frame instead of realizing that relationships with people take time, as each party feels out the other, ideas are exchanged, hearts blend together in common purpose while maintaining individual purpose as well.

I need comfort in the fact that I have done nearly all allotted to me for this time and space and that I must trust to the future the opportunity to come again to further till the soil, water the plants or reap the harvest of a relationship well founded.